


I'm Wondering If You'll Back Down, Because There's No End In Sight

by Velocity_Owl87



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Multi, Past Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Revenge, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-16 05:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocity_Owl87/pseuds/Velocity_Owl87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac's not had the best of lives, and he accepts Derek's offer out of the need for a better one. But now that the pack's decimated, Derek wants to do the next best thing and keep him safe. Isaac ends up moving in with the McCall family and despite himself, starts on the road to healing from his past traumas.</p><p>He didn't expect to actually become part of a family. </p><p>Nor did he expect to find romance either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Am I A Fool For Hanging On?

**Author's Note:**

> Isaac Lahey has always intrigued me and he was a major reason why I really got into the show, after Derek and Stiles. He's a survivor and he really has massive issues he needs to work through. He's also a kind of mirror to many of the characters, so that's why I'm writing this.
> 
> It is canon he was abused and off-screen, so I'm writing on the aftermath. Basically, this is the answer to what would he be like if he gets a shot at normalcy in a place were people give a damn. Stiles here isn't in the main spotlight, but he is more watchful and can articulate between the two groups, so he has become the de facto confidant. 
> 
> Titles are from Morgan Page's "Addicted"

"So you're leaving me?”

Isaac tried to not have his voice waver at the question, but even though he tried hard, it still wobbled a bit at the end. It was slight enough that no one else would have caught it. But Derek, damn his experiences and his stupid preternatural hearing had caught it.

"Not permanently." Derek assured him. Well, as much as he could. Isaac understood why he couldn't inject that much compassion in those words. He was what Isaac knew he'd become without anyone having his back. Someone always wary and ready to be the one to strike out before he got hurt. He had the power behind him to do it and Isaac could see that it was as much a weapon as his hyper-vigilance.

He knew that had been part of the reason for the offer of the bite. Derek saw too much of himself in Isaac and in his own way, was offering him a way out of the misery that Derek had endured.

That small gesture, no matter how selfish in its origin, was the reason why he stayed with Derek and was loyal. Derek had at least bothered to look. To make an offer when everyone had simply walked on by.

"When are you coming back?"

Derek looked away and his lips pressed themselves into a thin line before he looked at Isaac, his eyes softer than he had ever seen them. Well, unless he was looking at Stiles, since he was their human and their weakest target after all. Or at least that was what he wanted everyone to think. But the others weren't really looking and paying attention like he was.

"We don't know and after Boyd and Erica..." Isaac swallowed hard and was glad that Derek hadn't continued what he was going to say.

"Yeah. Okay." Isaac said, nodding in understanding while Derek only gave him a grateful look in return. He didn't want to force Derek to say that he didn't want Isaac to be dead like the others were. He had helped to find them and had stood by in the shadows with Derek and Peter as their families had buried them.

Derek didn't say anymore, only had pulled him into a loose embrace that surprised them both before shoving him none too gently towards Scott and Stiles.

If any of them noticed, they opted to keep quiet about it.

"Come on. My mom's waiting for us."

It was a mundane sentence, but it nearly made Isaac's resolve crack. It had been years since he had heard someone say that to him.

He nodded and made to follow Scott, who had gone on ahead. But he was stopped by Stiles' hand on his shoulder.

"It will get easier. That I can promise you."

He whispered and Isaac remembered that Stiles too, had lost a mother.

"Thanks."

Stiles smiled at that and Isaac was glad that even though it wasn't quite what he had meant to say, it was somewhat the right thing after all.

Especially since it had allowed him to see a real facet of Stiles, rather than the mask he presented to everyone else.

It didn't quite dispel the loss of his pack...but it made the situation easier to bear.

~*~*~*~*~

He was nervous all the time for the first week, waiting for...something. He wasn't sure what it was that he was waiting for. He didn't think that he was waiting for Derek or Peter, since they had made their exit fast and subtle and Stiles had verified it.

(How, he wasn't really sure he wanted to ask. But he had a sneaking suspicion that Danny had somehow been wrangled into it and he had been the unwitting conduit the last time that he accidentally walked into his and Scott's room without a shirt. He knew that must have been it, since Danny was looking at him more during practices and that was certainly not because his game had somehow improved overnight like Scott's had)

So he was resigned, at being left at Scott's place and missing his pack and trying to bond with Scott. Scott, who had tried to keep his distance, but in the end had started to thaw out towards him. His mother had cooed over Isaac as much as she was able, since her job as a nurse and being Scott's mother ate up enough of her time and Isaac had been fine with that. His own memories of his mother were pretty dim, so he was more often than not awkward at the small touches and tired smiles she gave him when their paths crossed.

It got easier, to simply smile back and fall back on being polite. It became second nature to him and afterwards, he didn't even think of it. It became such a ritual that when she had hugged him at Thanksgiving, it was perfectly normal. Just like being clapped on the shoulder and being called "Son" by Sheriff Stilinski right after. It didn't seem weird until he was lying in bed later on that night that he realized how much he had become part of this small circle. This small family.

The weight of it hit him so hard in the chest that he ended up curled up in the bed in a small ball for the rest of the night in an effort to stop the pain in his chest. A pain that was from his heart finally healing itself or from the joy of it all, he wasn't sure. He just knew if he stretched out, he would crack into a million pieces and he wouldn't be able to put himself together again.

He was prepared to go through those emotions alone, like he always had. He didn't expect anyone to really notice or care.

That was when he got his second surprise. He heard Scott's bed creak as he got out of it and his own bed creak with the added weight as Scott lay down behind him and curled up against his back. His heart was slow and soothing and Isaac slowly felt the crumpling feeling in his chest start to dissipate at the warmth and closeness of Scott. He didn’t do anything but _be there_ and that was enough for Isaac.

When the morning came, they didn’t speak of it. Never mentioned it, but it was a turning point for them.

It was also around the time that Scott had dragged him to his and Stiles’ gaming tournaments, which he had tried to avoid like the plague, not wanting to intrude into their space. But Stiles himself was the one that had gotten up and placed the battered controller in his hand and it was a set thing. It became so common that he became a regular fixture at gaming nights. Gaming nights also bled into study nights organized by Stiles to keep Scott from having dismal grades and being thrown off the team again. He couldn't exactly pinpoint when it had become part of his routine, only that when he found himself looking at the B+ on his chemistry exam and Stiles congratulating him and Scott, that he had somehow became part of Scott and Stiles also.

He hid, when it finally hit him. Somehow, when he had been waiting and watching for it to fall apart and for everyone to turn against him. But it never happened. And he was scared. He hated to admit it, but he was just waiting for it to come down and leave him raw and broken again.

So he hid in the Hale house and tried to stop shaking when he thought about it.

That was how Stiles had found him.

“Scott’s outside. He’s got a winter coat for you also. Mrs. McCall just got it yesterday.”

Stiles told him as he went to sit beside him, but not close enough to make him want to bolt.

“Why did they?”

“Because that’s what you do when winter is coming and someone doesn’t have a coat? Or why do we all care? Which is the real question that you’re asking me, Isaac?”

Isaac tightened his grip around his knees and shrugged.

“We’re not doing this out of charity. Scott and his mom don’t owe Derek anything. If it was the case, they’d have said no. Then you probably would have ended up at Casa Stilinski. Either way, you were going to be covered. “

Stiles scratched at his hair, which Isaac, for some reason, noticed was longer than the usual brush cut he kept it in. Stiles noticed him watching and smiled briefly before he bit his lower lip. He kept biting it until he finally was able to come up with what he wanted to tell Isaac.

“It was shitty, what happened to you. And it’s shittier to feel alone because you can’t trust anyone and despite all of Derek’s faults…he didn’t back away. And we’re not going to either. We’re going to fuck up and Scott’s got the emotional depth of a potato and Mrs. McCall works too much and I’m a hyperactive spaz and my dad has to deal with so much shit in this town…”

He broke off and  really looked at Isaac, showing him the same  face that Isaac had seen that first night.

“It’s not going to be hundred percent perfect…We’re not really pack. But we can be a family and have your back.”

“I had a family once. And they all left. One by one.”

Stiles sighed and gingerly put his arm around Isaac and pulled him into a loose hug that he could have easily gotten out of if he so chose to. But he didn’t and stayed close to Stiles’ surprising warmth.

“I’m not saying it will be easy. Or perfect and I am sorry for what happened to you. I know…it won’t ease the pain that you went through, but I really am.  But if you can trust us…I know that’s not what will happen.”

Isaac nodded and took a deep breath as he went over Stiles’ words.  They hadn’t done anything to make him think that they were going to leave him on his own. They had tried. Gone above and beyond what they should have if it was all about the charity.  Especially since he knew that they weren’t making loads of money, and yet had fed him, housed him and clothed him without complaint.

And they hadn’t asked him for anything in return. Nor had they insinuated that they did at any time.  Not once. They had simply treated him with dignity and respect and that had been it.

He turned to look at Stiles and gave him a smile. It wasn’t exactly a big one or a strong one, but it was a smile.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”


	2. Universe, How Strong Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac's trying, but he's still trying to save the world on his own. But that's something that Stiles isn't going to let happen and his kindness, in turn, shows Isaac how he can also help out when the time comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually kind of hard to write, to be honest. It needed a delicate balance and I think I got it. I love Isaac and he really is a shadowy character. Yes, we know stuff about him, but he's an unknown entity. He's as slippery as Stiles. That's partially why they end up close. 
> 
> Also, abuse like the kind he underwent wouldn't just ease up overnight, so it makes him hard to write, since he wouldn't give up his maladaptive, yet perfect survival traits despite being in a somewhat safe environment.
> 
> Scott is pretty emotionally dense, but when things hit him, they really hit him and Isaac would understand his pain and try to help. He just strikes me as that kind of a person.
> 
> And Derek...I think would also try to do something by Isaac, since he does value loyalty and does have some altruistic tendencies. Especially with someone that he would be seeing as a younger brother.

It's close to Christmas when Isaac knows things have finally settled. He's picked up a part-time job to help out and even though Mrs. McCall looks a bit sad when he makes the announcement, she still congratulates him. It's not much. It's just filing paperwork with Stiles and being the dogsbody at the station, but it brings in some much needed cash and it eases the guilt of being there in the first place.

 

That guilt comes back somewhat when he tries to give her some money to cover at least some of the groceries and is told that Derek's been covering that. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it is enough so that his being there isn't breaking the bank. He's stunned enough that Mrs. McCall manages to both give him a quick hug and thank him for his efforts.

 

He walks away from that conversation feeling as if the world shifted under his feet and he has no idea what direction is up. He is still thinking about the generosity of his Alpha when he shows up for work in the evening and meets up with Stiles.

 

He wants to act normal and not give Stiles any indication that he is preoccupied, but he knows that it is pointless. Stiles, to his credit, lets him brood over his situation for the first hour before he finally corners Isaac with that subtle tenacity he is so damned good at.

 

"So what's got you so terse, Isaac?" Stiles finally asks as he shoves over a heavily creamed and sugared coffee and an apple danish, the kind that made him weak in the knees for.

 

Isaac has just shoved the pastry in his mouth and takes his time in chewing and swallowing. Not because he wants to be obnoxious, but because he needs the time to gather his thoughts. He doesn't want to blurt out that he can't believe or understand why Derek went out of his way to send money to the McCalls for him. Not only would it make him sound stupid, it would also show how little value he still thinks he has to everyone, despite being proven over and over again that he does have value and that he does count.

 

It would also show distrust that shouldn't be there, considering how hard they all had worked to lessen it.

 

"I tried to give money to Mrs. McCall earlier and she wouldn't take it."

 

Stiles pauses and only looks at Isaac. He wants to say something, but holds his tongue as he waits for the next part. Because with Isaac, there was always a next part.

 

"She told me that Derek's been sending her money, that was why she didn't want to take it."

 

Stiles schools his features at the news and even with wolf senses, Isaac would have missed it if it wasn't for the way that Stiles always licks his bottom lip and takes a deep breath before he is going to try and rationalize his way out of a situation that there is no real lie out of.

 

"Did you know?"

 

Stiles nods, not bothering to try and cover it.

 

"Yeah."

 

Isaac's eyes narrow and he quickly puts it together.

 

"Did you say anything to him?"

 

Stiles looks away, his eyelids flickering slightly before he turned back to Isaac.

 

"He texts me sometimes and he asked. So I told him what was needed and he agreed."

 

Stiles explains, his heartbeat rising just a bit as he spoke, but Isaac is willing to let it go.

 

He figures that whatever else Stiles is hiding, it is between him and Derek. He knows that there are more shades and layers of meaning he doesn't even know about, so he simply nods and goes back to his pastry.

 

He figures that if his mouth is full, nothing self-deprecating is going to come out of his mouth. Besides, he's still hungry.

 

"It's not a bad thing, to ask for help. Not from your pack or from me."

 

Isaac looks at Stiles and immediately has to look away. There's too much knowledge and too much emotion there that he doesn't even have the first inkling as to how to decipher. He's used to straightforwardness from Mrs. McCall and the Sheriff, Scott's meandering confusion. Derek's gruffness, but not this layered kindness he gets from Stiles.

 

"I know."

 

Stiles nods and lets it go at that. But Isaac knows that it's been only put on the background. Stiles will only find the better time to bring it up. But in the meantime, he will be gracious enough to let Isaac have some peace and the illusion of letting the matter drop.

 

"The don't forget to ask next time, rather than try and save the world by yourself."

 

Isaac ducks his head and nods. He knew it was coming. He wasn't expecting for it to come so soon, though.

 

It isn't a reprimand. Just a gentle reminder of what had been talked about after Thanksgiving and Isaac, despite being slightly annoyed, is grateful that Stiles is still willing to keep on reminding him that he's worth something. That he matters, despite everything.

 

"Thanks."

 

Stiles doesn't even bat an eye and just raises his coffee cup in a salute to Isaac, making him crack up and for the mood to lighten.

 

They don't bring it up again for the rest of the shift.

 

And if Isaac sits just a bit closer to Stiles, neither of them mentions it.

 

~*~*~*~*

Isaac doesn't mention the changed dynamic between himself and Stiles. He doesn't want for Scott to feel left out. Especially not when he's missing Allison. He doesn't talk about her. Hasn't mentioned her since they have broken up, but there's always a scent of wistfulness and sadness around him. It's not as strong as it was when he has just moved in, but it is always there. If he didn't know him from before, he would say that it's a scent he's always had. Kind of like the sorrow and guilt that suffuses Derek's own scent. Or how insanity clings to Peter. He does wonder if he has a tell scent to his own, but doesn't ask. He doesn't want to know the answer.

He suspects that scent is the reason why he wakes up in the middle of the night with Scott sitting up in his bed and staring dumbly out the window.  He doesn't think twice about it. Scott's been staying up sometimes, no doubt mourning for his lost relationship with Allison.

He's tried to talk to him about, but Scott's been shrugging him and Stiles off. Do they leave him alone, promising each other that they will interfere if things get out of hand. He's had losses in his life, but he's not had one of this magnitude. Allison was the first girl that he had ever gotten reciprocal attention from and both of them could appreciate that grief.

He knows though, from the sharp scent of sadness and the saltiness of barely suppressed tears, that this is not the usual night. He can almost taste Scott's pain and his sorrow. It was enough to make him want to give a whine of sympathy.

Instead, he simply gets out of his bed and with slow movements, sits next to Scott. He's careful to leave some room between them just in case. But it's not necessary when Scott plasters himself against Isaac's side.

He doesn't know how to react when that happens and nearly stops breathing with how startled he is at Scott's actions. But when he sees that Scott isn't moving, he slowly puts his arm around his bony shoulders and gives him the same kind of loose embrace that Stiles had given him that time they were at the Hale house.

“It's supposed to be easier. To have faith in her that she's going to come back. But it's not. It's just a slower and more drawn out death.” Scott whispers harshly, his voice rough and raw with agony.

“I miss her. I miss her and I want to stop and I don't know how not to.”

Isaac wishes then that he had an answer, like Stiles always seems to have when Isaac talks to him. But even though he wants to find the words, he's got very little.

He's lost his brother. He's lost his mother and his father. But he's not sure what he could say to make it better. No one except Stiles taught him anything in that arena.

“It sucks now and it feels like it's not ever going to end and even though the pain is suffocating...you can't let it define what you had with her.” Isaac finds himself saying, remembering how it was in a dim and almost mythical childhood, when all he had to worry about was getting the next issue of the comic book series he was reading at the time. He had his mother and his father and his older brother looking out for him. He was a child without the burden of adulthood or maintaining a household or working nights to keep up with the bils.

It is the memory of that life that kept him silent. Kept him loyal, because he remembered all of that. It hurt and he knew he was flawed and had issues because of it...but it grounded him. Kept him knowing who he was, rather than being lost in the headiness of the power that Derek had gifted him with.

“How do you live with it, then?” Scott asks in a small voice.

“You just learn to, because there isn't a choice. Life doesn't stop because our world cracks. You just put the pieces together as best as you can and you move on.”

Scott sniffs and lays his head wearily against Isaac's shoulder. He doesn't know if it's a good answer that he gave Scott. He's just speaking from his own experience. And he's all out of any other wisdom, if Scott wants more answers.

So he just tightens the embrace and sits with Scott for the entire night, both of them falling asleep like that.

In the daytime, Scott almost looks normal and in the morning, he just extricates himself from Isaac's hold to get to the bathroom. Isaac himself straightens out and just goes to his side of the room to grab his clothes for the day and to try and remember if he finished his English homework from the night before.

He almost forgets the interlude until Scott punches him lightly.

They don't say anything to each other and only exchange a look of understanding before Isaac takes his own turn in the bathroom.

He doesn't know exactly how much he's helped until Scott's scent starts losing the sharpness of grief and starts gaining lighter notes and getting more like what it used to be when they discovered what each other was.

He takes comfort in that and as Christmas gets closer and his adopted family prepare for it.

It's the first time in years that he's looking forward to it.

He should have known that it was too damned perfect to last.

 


	3. So I See You Off Well,  While I Do My Best To Look The Other Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac and Stiles get a double-edged present that has Isaac being the strong one for a change and working in tandem with the rest of the pack to save their Alpha and to keep Stiles from breaking any further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is less sarcastic and funny and a bit sadder in this and also Isaac's mentor in navigating normalcy. Isaac is fairly cautious and I write him as someone who is super wary as he is learning how to be sociable and live in a normal environment. It's a bit grim for both of them at the moment and he is the one that sees how much everything is taking a toll on Stiles and is trying to keep it together and from falling apart any further.

Derek and Peter come back on Christmas Eve and Isaac is sure that there's a symbolism there that he will eventually find out if he has enough time to sit and think about it. Right now, running through the woods of nothern California with Scott, Peter and Jackson beside him...it's certainly not the time.

Just like he doesn't want to think about the implications of finding Peter kneeling over a bloodied and pale Derek and how surreal it was to have them be in front of the Christmas tree and bleeding into the area rug that Scott's mom had just recently bought. Nor does he want to remember how Stiles had looked: His eyes too damned big in his vulpine face as Derek lay there and how his blunt fingernails dug into the skin of Isaac's forearm.

The marks had healed pretty damned fast, but he couldn't shake the feeling of Stiles clinging to him off so easily.  It wasn't that he minded the physical contact. Far from it. He found himself craving it badly and in his more honest times, desperately needing it from the pack. Or his family. It made him want to sit up and yip whenever he had Stiles embrace him or carelessly ruffle his curls. Or when the Sheriff claps his shoulder or Mrs. McCall gives him a quick hug before she leaves for work or comes home super exhausted and he's having a glass of milk in the kitchen. Scott punches him at practice or they sit together when the demons of their pasts and their nightmares are too much for them to sleep.

He likes the closeness and the fact that when he is touched, it isn't going to mean that there will be pain or cruelty following right after. Especially not when Stiles is involved. Sometimes, he admits that having Stiles embrace him or touch his hair make the days just a bit better. He doesn't know exactly if he is falling for Stiles, or if he is having tranferrence happening. All he knows is that when he's around Stiles, he feels that safety and comfort and affection are real, rather than a trap for him to let down his guard and get attacked later on.

Why it unnerved him was that Stiles wasn't the one being the strong one that time around. The one with all the answers and the assurances that everything was going to eventually be fine. No. He was the one that was looking at Isaac with all the questions in his eyes and Isaac's heart broke to see him like that.

He had made the classic mistake that everyone made about Stiles: that he was invincible and resilient and would bend...but never break.

Yet they all tended to not notice that even though he was cracking and that those cracks were spreading and widening to the point that if they weren't fixed, Stiles would break into irreparable pieces.  It had been that realization that had made him grab Stiles and hold him. Stiles had made a noise deep in his throat, whether it was a protest or relief, Isaac wasn't sure. All he knew was that Stiles clung to him like a dying man and the Sheriff only gave him a terse nod as he and the others took care of the seriously wounded Derek.

_“_ _He doesn't need to see this. Take care of him._ _”_

The Sheriff had gestured to the stairs after telling him this and Isaac hadn't wasted time in getting Stiles out.

Isaac gently led Stiles upstairs to his and Scott's room and sat with him on his bed, not saying a word as Stiles got himself together.

At least, that was the intention. Stiles' heart sped up even more and he doubled over, his breathing laboured and fast as he struggled to breathe and keep his emotions in check. Isaac made Stiles look at him and tried speaking to him, hoping that he would get through to Stiles and help him calm dwon.

“Stiles. Stiles. You're all right. You're okay. Just listen to me okay. Breathe. Just breathe like I am, ok? Breathe.”

Isaac deliberately slowed his breathing down and rubbed Stiles' back in large circles to soothe him and calm him down. It took Stiles a few false tries to get his breathing at the level of Isaac's and those few moments felt like an eternity for both of them.

For Stiles, it was an eternity of fear that he was never going to breathe freely and was going to black out and be trapped in the nightmare of his thoughts and fears over Derek and the Alphas coming and being utterly helpless. For Isaac, it was filled with frustration at not being able to do anything else but coach Stiles into getting his breathing back to normal and getting him calm again. Neither of them noticed the time passing until Isaac realized that Stiles' heartbeat and breathing matched his own and that he was leaning heavily against him in a warm, damp bundle of bones, wiry muscle and skin.

He doesn't know where the impulse came from to mouth a kiss onto Stiles' forehead. Only that he caught himself in the middle of doing it and it made him stop abruptly in mid gesture. He felt the flush of embarrassment creeping up his face. It was instinctual and had come unbidden from that fuzzy place in his head where all his good memories had been kept. He recalled his mother doing it to him a long time ago when he had been upset and in shock when his cheekbone had been broken from a fall and it had calmed him down. He only wanted to give Stiles the same comfort, but he knew that he had forgotten himself. Stiles may be his friend and he may want for Stiles to be more, but he felt without a shadow of a doubt that he had stepped over a line in doing that.

He cleared his throat and tried to pull away, but Stiles stopped him by holding onto his forearm.

“Don't stop. Is nice.” He mumbled.

Isaac repeated the action, making the kiss deeper before pulling away. He looked at Stiles, who tiredly raised his eyelids to look at him and he knew that it was the time that he was going to man up about the situation and finally put to words what he had been suspecting about his Alpha and one of his best friends.

“When will you tell him?”Isaac whispered, kissing him just once more before arranging Stiles so that his head was resting on his shoulder and his body was tucked neatly against his own.

Stiles sighed and shrugged at the question.

“It would probably be the worst decision of my life if I did that. And this is speaking as Scott's friend.”

Isaac snorted at that and shook his head.

“Scott's not _that_ much of a disaster. Come on. He's...”

Isaac didn't want to denigrate or belittle Scott. He was essentially a good person...just a little dense and lovestruck with it ever since Allison had come into the picture. But he did tend to do his share of screw-ups, but Isaac had learned to tolerate them, since they were basically a part of Scott as much as hyperactivity was a part of Stiles.

Stiles smiled a watery smile before he rubbed at his eyes, making them redder than before as he did so.

“He's Scott and let's leave it at that. Just like Derek is Derek and the situation is what it is. There's nothing to be done and I know that you mean well...but we're not talking about this again. I just can't.”

Isaac chewed on his lip and wanted to desperately pursue the conversation, since he knew that it just wasn't healthy for Stiles to deny what he was feeling. But he also knew that if he prodded, Stiles would just clam up and wall him out with distractions and jokes, but never seriously approach the topic again.

Isaac bit his lip and had just opened his mouth to change the topic when the Sheriff appeared at the door that Isaac had forgotten to close and looked at them.

“Isaac, Peter and Jackson want to talk to you outside. Stiles-” He broke off and several expressions went across his face before he spoke to his son.

“Stiles, go to Derek. It's not looking good. He's asking for you. You really need to go down there.”

His father's face held no expression other than compassion. Although he wasn't quite aware of everything that had gone on between his son and Derek, he knew that they had a connection. Exactly how serious it was, he couldn't quite say. But he knew that they weren't acquaintances. Not with the way that Derek's voice had sounded when he had gasped out for his son as Mrs. McCall and Peter had worked on him in the living room.

Stiles let out a soft, choking sound and Isaac just pulled him closer, letting Stiles cling onto him once the news had sunk in.  He took a couple of ugly, barking breaths as he fought to keep himself under control. By that time, the Sheriff had sat down on the other side and had started to rub Stiles' back until he had stopped making noises and had gotten a semblance of his former control back.

He nodded and wiped his face with the sleeves of his hoody and extricated himself from Isaac and his father. He took a few deep breaths before standing up.

“Okay. Let's do this, then.”

~*~*~*~*~

“Head's up Isaac. Jackson's got a scent.”

Isaac's head jerked up and he was yanked out of his thoughts as Peter slowed down and rounded back to him and Scott. They had gone first, leaving him and Scott flanking the southeast and the southwest respectively, to make sure that no one would attack their backs. Jackson and Peter had seen the Alphas and knew their scent, so they had gone first to flush out the remaining Alphas and get the bullets to save Derek.

“How close?”

Peter grimaced. “Close enough. Derek ripped the last one nearly to shreds and it's her blood he's scenting.”

He paused and looked at Isaac. “If he does die...he's not going to go alone. He's going to take at least threee of them with him.”

Isaac shook his head. “It's not going to happen.”

Peter only gave him a long look before he looked into the forest. He had just turned to look when he heard a low whistle followed by three sharp yips. Peter grinned and jerked his head toward the forest.

“Call Scott. It's time.”

~*~*~*~*~

Derek felt like he was burning up from the inside out and no matter how much icy water Stiles got him to drink and the damp towels he used to  wipe him down, the heat was all consuming. Even with the light sheet over him, he felt like he was boiling up. He could barely think and the only comfort he had was having Stiles beside him. If he was going to die, he was glad that he was going to have Stiles beside him to make it bearable. He hadn't ever wanted to die alone. At least he was getting something that he had hoped for in life after all.

“You're not going to die, you stubborn sourwolf. I'm not going to let my straight man die without putting up a fight.”  Stiles whispered fiercely, making Derek realize that he had spoken outloud in his delirium.

“Wolfsbane bullets.” Derek mumbled, his eyes fluttering as he tried to keep them open and focused on Stiles' face, which was blurry despite his best efforts to do so.

Stiles snorted and shook his head before he wiped down Derek's face, making him let out a soft whine of relief.

“Isaac's on it.  As is Scott. You'll be back to growling at me in no time and bossing Scott around and being Isaac's dad/bro.”

Derek tried to laugh, but the sound he made was a cross between a harsh cough and a wheeze, prompting Stiles to give him another sip of water.

“Thank you.”

He wanted to say more than just that. But he simply could not find the words to express how grateful he was that even though he was slowly rotting from the inside out, he wasn't dying cold and alone and in agony. He wasn't without the one person that had somehow wormed his way under his skin and had somehow, without his knowing, become part of the small circle of people that he would die to protect.

That was at least one small mercy that he was glad he was allowed.

Stiles touched his face and let out a choked sob. The sound prompted Derek to push through the pain and blindly try and grab for Stiles' hand and hang on tightly.

Stiles grabbed his hand in return and held it in between his hands, twining their fingers together as he did so.

“You're welcome, Derek. You always have been.”

“I know.”


	4. I Might Be Addicted To How You Always End Up On Your Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott comes into his own, with Isaac's help and prevents it from being the worst Christmas that they all have ever had, all the while realizing that there might be more than broship between him and Isaac.

“Dammit Scott! Get your shit together! We don't have time!”

Peter snarled as he laid low the male, while Jackson struggled with the injured one, who they had quickly found out, wasn't going to be taken out so easily. Even though she knew that she wasn't going to see the light of day, she still fought like a rabid beast and Jackson had his hands full putting her down. 

There was nothing like maliciousness to give someone strength and that bitch was drawing on it with her last breath, knowing full well that the longer she fought, the less of a chance Derek was going to have in the end. 

Scott looked up and snarled when he saw why Peter was shouting at him to get into the fray. 

Scott knew that he wasn't a fighter. He worked on pure emotion and if he was lucky (and he was honest enough to admit that most of the time he did win, it was luck and werewolf stamina) he usually managed to score off a few solid hits that would win him the fight. It wasn't looking like it was going to happen this time. 

The bitch was strong. And wasn't above fighting as dirty as possible, a fact that Isaac had found out when he had taken her on while Jackson wrestled the box of bullets from the injured one and Scott made the last run around to make sure that no other nasty surprises were in the vicinity. 

Now Isaac was lying not even fifteen feet from where Scott was doing his best to take her out, holding his insides in while waiting for the rest of his body to play catch-up so that he could get into the fray again. Scott had gagged at the sight and had also felt a strange twist in his stomach because of it. Isaac was Isaac. There was no reason why he should have been hurt like that. There was no reason for him being hurt like he had in his life, period. The kid was just always in the wrong place and the wrong time and had the shit luck of being surrounded by assholes. Well, at least until he moved into the McCall house. 

All of this flashed into Scott's mind before he felt himself completely wolf out and go for the last bitch. Already, he could hear the din of Jackson finishing his task and Peter still grappling with his. This bitch was his and he was going to not only shred her for tearing his pack apart and making Stiles' crack; but also for putting that look on Isaac's face again.

The one of hopeless resignation and pained endurance and he waited for more agony to pass.

 

He's not good with pithy lines (he usually leaves that to Stiles) and just goes all in, like he always does. 

He's never learned finessse, no matter how many times he practised fighting with Isaac or with Derek. He was pure fury and brute strength and despite just being an alpha, he had quite a lot of it stored up and ready to let it be unleashed. 

It was as if he was clashing with his future self, he realized when she came up against him in the same style, but adding more kicks to her repertoire to shred him in hopes of catching him like she caught Isaac. He had seen what would happen if he let her have enough room to kick, so he hemmed her in close and blocked her whenever he could, not letting her anywhere near his belly or chest. 

She snarled in pure frustration and tried to move out to kick in wider arcs, but Scott was on it. He leapt above her and sliced her from behind, forcing her to stumble and turn around to drip blood into a wide arc around the clearing. She was in pain and Scott felt a harsh pleasure in seeing that. It wasn't enough, but it was a start. 

He didn't let her recover and opted for the risky move of sweeping her feet out from under her and knocking her on her ass so that he could go in for the kill. 

But she had anticipated this and had jumped clumsily back, being close enough to Isaac for Scott to swear under his breath at his miscalculation. 

Isaac wasn't unaware and had rolled out of reach, disappearing into a thicket nearby. A move that had angered her and clouded her judgement enough for Scott to launch an all out attack of claws and teeth on her. He knocked her down again and buried his fingers in her hair, yanking pieces out while he smashed her skull onto the ground. She tried to get leverage to kick at him and wound him. Scott avoided that by planting his knees firmly on her thighs, forcing her to struggle under him and feebly try to take swipes at him.

She screamed incoherently, her red eyes glowing with maniacal anger that reminded him of the stories his grandmother and aunts would tell him when he was younger. He didn't think that he could smell evil before he encountered her, but he was positive that was the reason for the scent pouring off in waves from her: wolfsbane, decay and rotting blood. Being that close to her didn't help matters any. 

He needed to end it and he needed to end it fast. Derek depended on them to get the bullets back to him before he died. Their pack couldn't stand another loss, especially that of their Alpha. He needed this done.

He gritted his teeth after having had made that decision and pushed through the stalemate, ripping another chunk of scalp and hair out to land the last blow. 

He didn't get to land it, because she too, found her strength and got loose. Scott groaned, pitifully and low in his throat when he realized that he had failed. The last of his strength was gone and he knew that he wasn't going to get another shot at it. As strong as he was, he wasn't an Alpha. And he was going to die. 

He didn't expect for her to be stopped by Isaac, who was holding her in a headlock, his eyes yellow and his body half transformed. His arms were straining, showing the effort that it took to hold her back. Their eyes met and Scott got up. 

One more chance. One more shot. He could do this. 

He forced himself to put it all behind that one last shot and prayed that he would strike true.

He gutted her the exact same time that Isaac snapped her neck, letting her drop on the forest floor to lie in the pool of blood and gore that had come from Scott's last strike. 

She breathed out a death rattle and was still, the light gone completely from her eyes as Scott and Isaac stood over her body, their eyes locked onto one another's as the enormity of what they had done hit them.

They didn't have time to speak, since Jackson came up to them with the bullet case and gun in hand, both of which were slick with ichor and gore.

“Peter?”

“Here. Son of a bitch was tougher than I suspected. We'd better get back. Derek's time is nearly up.”

Isaac nodded and bolted off, with Jackson and Scott following right behind them. The kills had been accompished, but Derek wasn't out of the woods just yet. 

~*~*~*~*

“How's it going?” The Sheriff asked as he walked into the room and breathed through his mouth once the sickbed stench hit him. He wanted to bolt, since it brought up memories of the last month's of his wife's life, but stayed. He had to be strong for his son, since he knew very well what it was like to stand a death vigil for a loved one. If he had had any doubts about how his son felt about Derek, he hadn't any after those hours. 

He knew that Stiles could focus patiently on a task if necessary, but the patience and stubborn determination to not let Derek die was beyond that. He had sat beside the nearly comatose Alpha for hours and had only moved to get him water, empty the bucket when Derek vomited, and to get more fresh cloths to wipe down the sickly sweat that coated Derek's body.

Stiles looked up and blinked blankly as he tried to get his mind back to the present. 

“He doesn't have that much time left.” Stiles replied, his voice flat as he spoke, making the Sheriff wince before he came in and clasped his son's shoulder to give him some support. 

“What a lousy Christmas.” Stiles added, looking down at Derek's still and ashen-faced form. “I expected it to be somewhat okay, since it's not just us anymore and this genius and his uncle would have been somewhere safe out there. But hey...I was wrong. As usual. Merry fucking Christmas.”

The Sherrif only listened to his son and only sighed. This wasn't anything that he would have wished on his son. It had been hard enough going through it when his wife died and he hoped that Stiles wouldn't ever have to face it himself. But then, no one really gets what they want in life and there they were. He wanted to tell Stiles that there was some hope. That the others could make it with the bullet in time and that Derek wasn't going to be buried beside his sister under wolfsbane and a spiral. 

But Stiles wasn't nine years old anymore and he knew better than to lie to his son. 

“At least he knows now, how I feel about him. I didn't want to lose him and not tell him at least once.” Stiles mumbled and the Sheriff did wince at that. It would have been horrible if that had been the case. At least they had gotten to tell his wife how much she meant to them before she passed on by. It was a cold comfort, but he wasn't going to voice it and re-open that wound once again.

So he simply stood behind him, holding onto his shoulders and hoping that if Derek died, Stiles had the strength to carry on and not repeat his mistakes. 

He doesn't have that long to ponder that morbid line, since Isaac and Jackson literally crash into the room, giving him a grand total of ten minutes in the stark bleakness of grief. 

“Here. Do it!”

Jackson snarled as he pressed the gory box with the rounds into Stiles' unresisting hands. 

Stiles leaps into action and the Sheriff strongly suspected that he was going on instinct and muscle memory as he scrabbled to open the box, pulled out a couple of rounds and broken them on the back of a binder that Isaac had appeared with. Jackson provided the lighter and Stiles burned the rounds, pressed the broken casings into the aconite and pressed them onto Derek's bare abdomen over the necrotic looking gunshot wounds, clearing it up as if by magic.

Derek's eyes flew open and he let out a strangled shriek as the wounds healed, leaving him looking more or less like he always did, except for the expression of bewilderment on his face. 

“I still stand by what I said before and yeah, it's still awesome!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly wanted for Scott to come out and be in command of his full strength and potential and finally showing that he has learned that he needs to work with someone. And that his someone is Isaac and that he gets that moment of clarity once the task is done. 
> 
> I also wanted to have a moment of Stilinski bonding and understanding, since grief is also one of the emotions that tends to visit these two guys quite often and that would colour their interactions with each other.


	5. I Might Be Addicted To How You Get The Best Of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Isaac are home and reflect on one last thing that they've not spoken on-Their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit that this has a more optimistic ending than I had planned, but hey, these guys deserve some happiness after all. Especially Isaac. And yes, Scott may be a bit dense...but I think it just takes him time to process things and when he does, he tries his best to make it right. Cheers and thanks to all that read and enjoyed!

Isaac found himself standing quietly under the hot spray of the shower as he tried to put the day's events into context for his adrenaline riddled brain to make sense of. They had ended the Alpha's threat and had saved Derek and were now winding down and continuing on with the day. He had honestly forgotten, in all the turmoil, that it was Christmas.

He snorted as he grabbed the shampoo and lathered up his hair. He was drained. All of the turmoil had just left him numb and ready to sleep. But he was filthy and needed the time to think about the strange interlude he and Scott had had before they had killed the Alpha. It had been more than just mutual satisfaction and a syncing of the minds.

He had felt more than just their usual closeness then and he knew that he couldn't quite keep the feelings that had been steadily making their way to the forefront at bay much longer. He likes Scott and Isaac doesn't want to keep lying to himself about how he feels.

But he's overwhelmed at how strong his feelings are and also because of the simple fact that Scott is a guy. He hadn't ever seen himself falling for another guy. He knew that he wasn't quite straight, since he had always noticed Stiles' body more than he had noticed Erica's own. And when he had, he could appreciate it, but not lust after it.

He hadn't ever thought that Scott would be the one that would make him smile and have a better day than just by bantering or practising lacrosse or even trading chemistry notes. But it had happened and he hadn't wanted to act upon those feelings. Not when he knew how much Allison's departure had affected him.

He would have been content to stand beside him and be there for him like Stiles was for him. He honestly would have.

But during the fight, he had painfully realized that wasn't going to happen. Not when he had found himself risking everything to keep Scott out of harm's way and only gotten himself gutted for his efforts. It had worked out in the end. Both of them gaining enough strength and determination to make that last push and end the Alpha and Isaac was under no illusion that if they hadn't had that moment where everything had just come together, it wouldn't have been the case.

And he knew that it wouldn't have been possible if it had just been pack instincts of friendship. He had seen how Scott had been with Allison and he could honestly say that it had been on the same level.

At least he didn't feel like a fool for having unrequited feelings. Yet he wouldn't be the one to act upon them. Not until there was proof that Scott would reciprocate.

He sighed and rinsed off the shampoo under the still hot spray. He wasn't going to think about it any longer, lest he get too down about the situation and ruin the dinner. It had been bad enough that the attack and Derek at death's door had cast such a pall on the day already. He didn't want to ruin the mood now that Stiles and Derek were so happy and their bete noire was finally defeated.

At least someone deserved to have a happy Christmas after all.

Having decided on this course of action, he ran conditioner through his hair, rinsed it off and turned off the water. It was time to rejoin the pack.

~*~*~*~*

Scott gratefully climbed the stairs two at a time so that he could hopefully get a much needed nap in before the aborted Christmas dinner was scheduled to begin. It wasn't the most traditional dinner he and his mother would ever have, but he had to admit that it was the most dramatic one that would ever occur.

Also the most emotional, since they were so close to losing Derek and possibly Stiles and had prevented either event from happening. He had known, on some level, how much Stiles and Derek meant to each other. He had always wondered about the way Stiles acted around Derek and how it was Stiles that Derek usually sought out. Stiles hadn't been much for showing his emotions most of the time, but even he could see how Derek's taking off had made him more secretive and quiet.

Just like he had been when his mother had died. He hadn't had any panic attacks, luckily. But it had taken him a long while to get back into the semblance of who Stiles was. Scott wasn't quite sure what to think about Derek and Stiles, of all people, getting together.

He wasn't sure if he approved of it, since Derek was so closed off and violent and Stiles was fragile. And not simply in the way of just being a human. But in the way that if he had his life torn apart another time, he wasn't going to get to survive it. Losing his mom had nearly gutted him and the Sheriff. He had been there and seen and had been pretty helpless about what to do with the situation except to offer him more chances to escape his too big and too empty house.

His dad was still alive. He understood someone leaving. But not being able to ever see them again. But now, after Allison, he understood what it was to lose someone that you desperately loved, and still have to live with them being there and out of reach.

His mouth tightened at that realization and Scott made a mental note to talk to Derek and give him the warning of what would follow if he were to ever break Stiles' heart. He had been remiss in his best friend duties and he felt that it was time to get his head out of his ass and be a friend to Stiles, rather than expect him to always be the one holding the fort down cheerfully and without any complaints.

Stiles is only human. More human than all of them and he had forgotten that in the flush of his first love. He needs a shoulder to lean on, now that Derek is back and the Alphas have been defeated. Scott can only hope that he isn't too late to be that for Stiles.

Once he had made that vow, he enters his room and is surprised to find Isaac is already there, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans as he rummaged through the drawers for clean clothes, since his were wrecked after the fight.

It is the sight of Isaac's pale back, scattered here and there with drops and rivulets of water that remind him of the moment that they had worked in perfect synchronization to kill the alpha. His face heated up as he recalled the grave way that Isaac had looked at him before they had acted.

It made his throat thick with an emotion he couldn't quite identify. It was close to what he felt whenever he was with Allison, but not quite. He knew he loved her. He knew that he probably would always look at her with love and longing. But he also knew that he would never think of her without it being tainted by the bitterness of loss and regret.

He didn't feel that way though, when he looked at Isaac. Isaac, who had been so scared when he had come to their house and had yet tried to help out in any way that he could. He had been patient and had listened and had even tried to help out with finances even though he couldn't afford to. The one that had realized and understood that Stiles was hurting and lonely.

The one that had, despite being so broken inside, stayed.

His eyes stung with tears as he finally realized the sheer amount of sacrifices that Isaac had made without asking for anything in return. He had been a friend and hadn't stopped to think about the consequences or the returns. He had been a shoulder to cry on and the warm body to cling to when the nights were too damned dark and too damned lonely.

And yet...

Isaac must have sensed the shift in his emotions, because he turned around and looked at Scott thoughtfully before he pulled on a dark and almost threadbare shirt on over his damp skin.

He didn't say anything and only looked at Scott, his expression grave and haunted as he waited for Scott to make the first overture.

"I was thinking. About today. The fight, I mean." Scott stammered, his eyes flickering back and forth from Isaac's face to the spot on the wall behind him.

"I thought we did a good job. Working together." Isaac, offered cautiously, not wanting to say more lest he was wrong on the vibes that he was getting from Scott.

Scott smiled gratefully and licked his lips nervously before he continued.

"And it hit me that we didn't just do great there. It wasn't just something that happened on the spur of the moment. We've been...a team before that. And I think that we could be even better if, you know..."

Isaac's eyes widened and Scott could hear his heartbeat speed up and smell the saltiness of perspiration as Isaac waited for him to say the rest of what he was struggling to put together.

"I don't know if you feel that way about me. But I do know that these past few months, with you being here...my life hasn't been as lonely. Stiles is my best friend and I wasn't letting him in much. Nor were we as close. But you helped us be connected despite all of that. Despite the secrets and Allison and Derek leaving."

Isaac swallowed hard, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to interrupt and have Scott be distracted or lose his train of thought.

"I guess I'm saying that...if you wanted...we could maybe try to be something more?"

Isaac's heart stuttered for a few beats before he made a reply.

"What about Allison?"

Scott smiled crookedly before he shook his head and moved closer to Isaac and stood in his personal space.

"I mean, you love her. So why are you bringing up the possibility of us?"

Isaac whispered, his eyes cloudy with pain.

"I'm not going to lie that I loved her. I probably always feel that way about her. But us, together...it's never going to work. Either she or I will have to compromise and we both will break."

He looked up at Isaac and slowly, as if he was approaching a spooked animal, touched Isaac's chest.

"But it's not a battle with you. We just...we just fit. You honestly saved me so many times this past while. I don't know when it happened, but you just became part of my life. Like Stiles. Like the Sheriff and Derek...you became my family and my safety and it feels right."

His eyes flickered over to Isaac's face when he said that and to his relief, Isaac's expression had softened and he didn't look as if he was in agony. In fact, he looked wary, but not ready to bolt.

"I want to be with you because I know we could be good together. I've fallen for you and I didn't even see it until yesterday. I was close to losing you and I realized that I never told you that you've made me feel safer than anything ever since I got bitten."

Scott bit his lip as he watched Isaac's expression change from wary, to shocked to pleased, but still with that cautiousness behind it.

He didn't want for Isaac to feel that he had to guard his heart from him. Not when he had basically professed his feelings. But he wouldn't push. He knew that despite coming into his own, Isaac was still delicate and needed to be handled with care.

That was why he didn't grab him and kiss him like he was desperate to do. Instead, he waited.

"Scott, I'm...ah...I do. I mean...I care about you and-"

Scott couldn't hold back any longer and kissed Isaac.

It wasn't like kissing Allison, since Isaac's mouth was wider and his lips were fuller. He also wasn't as good a kisser as Allison, but what he lacked in skill, he made up in alacrity once the shock of being kissed had passed.

When they pulled away, Isaac's mouth was bruised and he could feel a small trickle of blood from a gash Isaac's teeth had made in his lip. He didn't care, not when Isaac looked at him with soft dark eyes that showed nothing but affection, the wariness having finally gone with his impulsive, but honestly meant actions.

"I don't know what I'm doing here, Scott and it's scary for me."

Isaac admitted after they had stared at each other silently.

"I don't either, but we can figure this out. I'm pretty sure we can."

Isaac wants to disagree and walk away from it before he gets hurt. But Scott is earnest and his expression is so filled with hope and affection that Isaac's guards fall down.

He holds out his hand to Scott and nods, while Scott lights up and takes the opportunity to pull Isaac into an almost too tight embrace.

Huh, Isaac thinks. Or maybe they can.


End file.
